Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Patriots Promise No Pownage of New Rule

So the NFL is giving one player on the defense a radio head set. It's new, kind of interesting.

No big deal, right? WRONG!

One of the teams getting a head set is the Patriots. And we can only begin to imagine the ways they wil imagine they can find to cheat with these things.

The Boston Herald reports that the Patriots are off to a slow start mastering this new tool, but paired with Belichick's signal stealing skills, it should be good enough to go 18-1 again.

This is an absolutely hilarious article because you can literally see the Herald and its author, John Tomase, trying to dodge any cheating angles, and play the card that this rule will hurt the team more than it will help.

Why would the Herald homer it up? You may or may not remember a certain newspaper alledging that the Patriots video taped the Rams Superbowl walk-through back in 2001. And you might also remember those allegations being made up. These guys are responsible for that. The Boston Globe has never been more grateful, and the Herald, never more desperate to suck some super duper serial Patriot dick.

Apparently Belichick says he doesn't know which player should wear the helmet. Solution? Give all 11 starters that radio helmet.

But perhaps Coach Ryan is being too hard on Belichick, a guy, who when it comes down to it, Coach Ryan actually likes and finds highly entertaining... okay, talented too. But that said, Patriots fans are still fags. Giants fans? Well they are, uh.... fucking awesome? (1:23, Coach Ryan promises gold)

No comments: