Friday, July 11, 2008

Jacksonville Owner Says He Hates L.A., Randy Newman, But Loves Pussy

Maybe Matt Jones was playing in the snow for a reason. While the Buffalo Bills have been the center of the "let's move a team some where" discussion, Jacksonville is close behind, nipping on the heels so to speak

Strapped with debt and located in a small market, Jags owner Wayne Weaver says his team won't be packing it in accodring to "the wire." Coach Ryan has news for Weaver, moving the Jags isn't like moving the Bills, there is no tradition, there is no history, move your team and shut the fuck up. Jacksonville can't host the ACC Championship, how the fuck can it support an NFL team that, while solid now, will undoubtedly slip into mediocrity in two or three years.

Los Angeles is begging to throw all kind of money at a team that Jacksonville only wishes it had. Weaver says that fans growing up in this recent tradition of kind of winning but nothing historic will drive the team into financial bliss... Yes, he's an idiot.

Coach Ryan doesn't understand why Weaver is reluctant to move the team. Who cares if Jacksonville hates you? This isn't the Colts packing it up to Indy. This isn't Art Modell bailing on Cleveland and going to Baltimore. God knows that if Katrina hadn't rocked the shit in New Orleans, Tom Benson would be counting the bills McScrooge style during the 2006 season. American sympathy, sometimes it's a bitch.

L.A. is the second largest city in the United States and it doesn't have a team. Granted, it's a city chock full of dick squeezers, it still deserves a team. And Jackonsville fits the bill. And for the record, tell the Bills to get it over with too. Pack your shit, Toronto is ready.

Already bored with our post, Weaver contacted Coach Ryan demanding to know when we start talking about all that fine snatch in FLA. Here's how it went down:

1 comment:

Patty said...

Interesting to know.