Thursday, July 10, 2008

NFL Hires Policeman, Cheaters Rejoice

The Associated Press (which is just a term people who are too lazy to find the real source, like Coach Ryan is right now) is reporting that the NFL has hired a cop to oversee its new "strategic security department."

This "department" which will undoubetdly consist of just this cop is completely useless. You don't hire cops to catch cheaters. Just ask Vegas. You always hire cheaters to catch cheaters.

Let's do some quick thinking to unmask what a bullshit move this is.

Before we start, for the record, Coach Ryan's attempts at logical assumptions are balls on accurate. 60% of the time, it works everytime, like Sex Panther cologne, which both Coach Ryan and Ken personally endorse despite it's gasoline scent.... which is actually good for you. Coach Ryan likes the smell of gas. Anybody who doesn't is un-patriotic.... that's right you terrorist bastards. Sex Panther. Here we go:

Beeeeeel Beeeelichick gets caught cheating. NFL slaps Belichick on wrist. Pennsylvania Senator, and avid Eagles fan, Arlen Spector shits his pants when he realizes that the Patriots may have pulled a fast one on his beloved team in Super Bowl XXXIX. NFL hires a Pennsylvania cop to "take care of things." Tax money well spent. And now Spector, like the old dumb clown he is will say, "Oh good! They hired one of my boys. Everything will be fine."

Meanwhile, Beeeeel Beeeelichick and the other 31 coaches who cheated just like him, but didn't get caught, take a big sigh of relief as they can go back to "scouting" the other teams.

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